Finding a True Purpose
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where and what it is that God has in store for my life. I’ve been fortunate enough through His grace to start dedicating more time to reading the Word and hearing God’s voice. I’ve found that my spirit longs to worship him in the morning and at night I fill most complete and content when I’m able to just come home turn on some music and just wholeheartedly worship him. I’ve decided to dedicate my self for the next 40 days to establishing a schedule where I set aside time to read, pray and contemplate God’s will in my life.
So far it has been amazing. I’m realizing that I need to get back to the place where I’m just seeking him and seeking his face. This isn’t about intense study of the scripture or a dedicated look into the theology of Christianity. It’s simply cultivating a spirit of praise and worship. I’ve recently started walking through a Purpose Driven Life and filling out the journal in the mornings. It’s challenging me to think differently about my purpose in life. Mostly that it’s not about my purpose but rather about God’s purpose for my life. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately in regards to if I want to continue in advertising or move on to something else. Something that will afford me the benefit of helping others. What I’m asking now is for God to revel to me his purpose for my life and that he help me to align my heart accordingly.
How selfish and naive I’ve been to think that it was all about what I desired to do in life. God has known me before I was even conceived, and he had a purpose for my life even then. I just want to seek him more and more everyday in the hopes that he will continue to show me what on earth I’m here on earth for!
Praying for you always,
Gbwy
Table for Two
Still on my quest to complete Luke, I arrived at The Parable of the Lost Son. Although the Lost Sheep had previously had me filled with emotion, I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed with happiness and guilt at the same time while reading the Lost Son. Who can’t relate to this parable? Well, maybe more than others.
As I was reading I began to see myself as the youngest son. I saw myself at a point in my life where I was so blind, so lost, so…dead. After neglecting Him for so long, it still amazes me how He would even still rejoice at my presence. I mean, seriously, who am I that He would be overjoyed by my revival? The divine mercy of God is implausible and certainly undeserving, but still here I am! Not perfect, but aggressively on track to getting through that narrow door…VIP style! I am on an expedition for His own heart and He already has mine. I’m letting Him romance me for a while…
A Gentle Whisper…
“Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom. though it cost all you have, get understanding.” - Proverbs 4:7
This week, I’ve found myself doing some soul searching and reflecting on the current state of my relationship with God. My pastors sermon this Sunday , “The Pursuit of Wisdom” has weighed heavy on my spirt and has lulled me into a stat of mental paralysis, one of self-examination and contemplation. In my time of reflection I’ve come to realize that my spirit is calling out for worship and for a sense of renewed passion for the Lord. In Proverbs 1:22 Solomon personifies Godly wisdom as a women and illustrates her shouting out ” How long will you simple ones love your simple ways? How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge?”
I think Solomon uses the word “fool” not to represent someone with a mental deficiency but rather some one with a character deficiency such as rebellion, laziness, or anger. In which case I think I have been the perfect archetype of Solomon’s’ fool. Laziness and complacency, have crept into my spiritual walk with the Lord, and now I can all but here the resounding echoes of my inner spirt proclaiming “How Long?”
Sometimes God speaks to use in a powerful way and yet, sometimes he stirs up our spirt with a gentle whisper. The fact of the matter is that I know that God is at work in me, and is calling for a renewed commitment. Quite simply put, there are things that I have failed at and need to do better. For one I know that I haven’t managed my dating relationship in a way that is pleasing to God. In my quiet time today God reveled to me this simple truth, we can’t be friendly with sin and expect our lives to be unaffected! Sin, even when attractive, is deadly! The litmus test of any Godly relationship is to simply ask yourself whether or not your partner is pushing you further away or closer to God. I want to be the catalyst that pushes her toward God, not the one that participates in sin.
Secondly , God has shown me that I just need to unplug and make time to seek after him. He doesn’t require a mandatory bible study everyday but what he does require is that we worship him in spirit and in truth. That means making time on a daily bases to communion with him in prayer and in reading. The best writers in the world are those that read voraciously. That don’t do it in large sums all at one time but rather they take “sips” of books and read every couple of hours. I think this is where God is calling me, to develop a spiritual walk with him where we are in a constant state of “sipping” God.
My prayer and my focus for the next couple of weeks will be on God’s wisdom, the understanding and application thereof. Knowledge is good, but a vast difference stands between “Knowledge” (having the facts) and “Wisdom” ( applying those facts to life). I may amass knowledge , but without wisdom my knowledge is useless.
gbwy
Pass to My Heart…Part of It!
It feels good to have a place to vent/express feelings within that are, sometimes, difficult to do so verbally. I admit that I’m not much of a blogger, most of what I write is personal and on paper…you know, like the good ol’ days! So anyways, here is apart of what I am feeling, have felt, or will feel.
It feels like something’s missing or not quite right,
Sometimes I’m full and other times hungry for life.
A woman’s heart should be so entangled in God that a man must seek Him to find her,
So where does one start when one of the two doesn’t occur?
He’s invested in Him, she’s invested in he, then she realizes “who’s invested in me?”
She’s spent so much time on “Wall Street” that she’s neglected to see,
that what she’s looking for she can find on her knees.
Since knowledge begins with fear of the Lord and love is patient and kind,
Why does she fear that love, itself, is leaving her behind?
These are conversations that she has with Him and answers she constantly seeks,
But the intellect and reasoning takes over and she can barely hear Him speak.
Of faith, hope, and love; the three that remain,
Why is love so difficult to maintain?
Since she’s made in His image and to understand Him is to understand herself,
She takes comfort in knowing that He’s felt what she’s felt.
She prays, “Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin”,
Take away my doubt, my fears, my selfishness, and my insecurities.
At times it feels the same, a heart with love and a broken heart,
Both seem so heavy that she can’t tell where her chest ends and her stomach starts.
He gives us choices and she’s suddenly come to a fork,
One path reads “EASY” and the other reads “WORK”.
They say that if you’ve reached the end of you, then you need more of Him,
One must say things, do things, and go places they’ve never been.
I saw one pair of footsteps and realized that He’s been carrying ME,
And when I became strong there were two and now I’m praying for three.
It all comes into focus…
Walking through each chapter of the love languages I still felt that I hadn’t quite pinpointed my primary love language. Even after taking the love language test twice there was still something that just didn’t ring quite true about the results. I thought, maybe if I take the test a couple more times, I could then average the results and indicate which language arose most dominate. But even in that solution I knew that I wouldn’t be happy with the results because I would be back where I started; trying to understand what was missing from the love language I had choosen.
Then came along one line in chapter ten that made me realize that I need to be looking for my primary love in a different way. Chapman points out that sometimes the best way to identify your own love language is to look at the actions you preform for your spouse. He says “chances are what you are doing for her is what you wish she would do for you.”
I started to just think back to my highlight reel of the few things that I had done for you in the course of our relationship and what I thought they really meant. I thought about your birthday with Toy, about the flowers and strawberries, the back message with the lava rocks, and the breakfast in bed! At first I thought maybe I was looking for an hybrid of “Acts of service” and ” Recieving gifts” maybe with a little physical touch for good measure. Then the lightbulb turned on and I knew what it was! It was ‘t a combination of any of the five but rather it was a completely new language ” the expression of thoughtfulness!”
What I realized was that I championed the idea of showing my love by the amount of thought I put into a work of service, or giviving a gift, or physically touching you! And that’s the exact thing that rings true for me as well! I thought backf to graduation and how much I treasured the carriage house framed shirt and the t-shirt. What an awesome expression of how much you care for me and more importantly how much you know me. I cherish those gifts and think back on them with pride!
Chapman also talks about love languages having differnet dialiects and in all honesty I guess Expressions of thoughtfulness could really be consiered a dialiect of acts of service. So maybe I haven’t found some revolutionary sixth love language but I think I have found my true north in terms of my love languages!
(beemed from my iPhone, please excuse grammar and spelling)
Modesty is Sexier…
There has been a lot on controversy over the newly released Miss USA Pageant promotional pictures that showcase all 51 contestants in a salutary photo series entitled “Waking Up in Las Vegas.” You can see the pics here on the Miss USA official page. To be honest, after gazing upon the photos I wasn’t outraged or even shocked. I wasn’t disgusted nor was I offended. If anything, I found myself somewhat ambivalent trying to make sense of the newfound creative direction. After all half naked, over-sexualized women strategically arranged in sexually suggestive positions have become basic building block in constructing any successful advertising campaign. In my opinion, the salacious pictures are but further evidence of the seemingly inexorable march toward a hyper-sexualized female persona.
I‘ve never been a huge advocate of the Miss USA Pageant or any form of beauty contest for that matter; they just seem to be incredibly frivolous and portray the women as nothing more than beautifully constructed vacuous drones. Yet, I have always held the winner in high esteem for their yearlong commitment to humanitarian and community service efforts. It was the 364 days Miss America spent aside from the actual pageant itself that made amends for the “physical-beauty-is everything- for- young-women” display of that one night.
Regardless of the fact that I think beauty pageants send the wrong message to our young women and men; I do think that Miss USA in the 364 days aside from the pageant serves as the quintessential female role model that our society so desperately needs. I base that not upon her appearance but rather on her actions as reigning Miss USA. There is a peculiar dichotomy in the Miss USA Pageant when you examine what the winner stands for as opposed to how she gets there. On one hand you have a young women who is crowned Miss USA and heralded as a national treasure for her yearlong efforts in assisting those in need, encouraging and empowering young women, and bringing awareness to humanitarian efforts. She is not only held to the highest ethical and moral standards but ironically is also required to maintain a demure appearance. Now, on the other hand we’re using a beauty pageant primarily based on physical appearance to choose who that ideal role model should be. It’s no wonder so many of our young girls feel like if they don’t have perfectly straight hair, perky breast, a flawless smile, and immaculate skin, then they don’t measure up.
I had the pleasure of attending one of my frat brother’s wedding a couple of weeks ago in Opelousas, Louisiana. On our drive we saw a billboard advertising a local computer repair shop. On one side of the billboard it had a busted monitor on the other side was the smoking computer. What was in the middle? Well of course, it was a blonde haired, perky breast, swimsuit model. Even the small town do-it-yourself advertisers have no reservations in using an unwarranted hyper-sexualized female image.
And if you been online at all this week you have probably stumbled upon this ridiculousness.
Really? How has this become what we aspire for our young daughters? In the age of hyper-sexualized female celebrities like Beyonce, Brittany Spears, Hannah Montana and Ciara, the image of Miss USA has the ability to challenge the traditional notion of how women are to be portrayed. By all means, women should be proud to own their sexuality but when you have a nation of tween and teen girls watching it should be done with a bit of demureness. These promo pics are simply a step in the wrong direction.
Random thoughts on a slow day
I love hanging out with you! I don’t know why, but I feel so good when were together. It reminds me of the carefree life Tim and me had back in undergrad. Back when nothing was perfect, money was tight, and we loved just loved living in the moment.
When you told Phil on Saturday that we don’t really get out much, it made me think perhaps we have lounged away far to many weekends. But I realize is that I can’t recall a weekend where I was just utterly bored. I think your company, always makes for a unique experience whether that’s trying something new our just veaging out in front of the TV for an SVU marathon.
This weekend at Scott’s house made me realize just how much of my life I really want to share with you. Scott, my not be one of my closest frat brothers but he is definitely one who holds a special place in my heart and I’m so glad you guys had a chance to meet! There’re so many things that I want to do with you and people that I want you to meet! So much so, that I made a list of everything I want to share with you… before we both go and meet the Lord or before I turn 70 and become single again!
Tech Football Game
TTU Carol of Lights Celebration
Mariners Game /Sounders Game / Seahawks Game
Road Trip To Canada
Washington State Fair
Stuff our face at White Castle
Sunrise at Santa Monica
Arsenal Game in London
Mission Trip…wherever needed
Camping….somewhere
Vacation in Paris
Cruise to Hawaii
Performance at the Alvin Ailey Dance Theater
New York in the Winter
Ski trip with the Frat
Photo Shoot in Brooklyn
Trip to St. Louis
Lunch at Roscoes Chicken and Waffles
Dinner and midnight snack at Roscoes Chicken and Waffles
University of Washington Volleyball Games
The US Open (If Nadal Plays)
Brunch at Macrina
Sundance film Festival
Taste of Chicago
Tailgating at a the TTU- Texas Game (if, and only if we Win)
South by Southwest in Austin
Watching you Walk the Stage
Carnival in Brazil
Essence music Festival
Bed and Breakfast anywhere
The Guggenheim Museum
In and Out Burger on the Beach
State of The Black Union
Burning our last Student loan Payment
Ice-skating with Apolo Onho
Exploring the city of Charlotte with Toy
Miller Outdoor Theater Concert
Show on Broadway
Getting Lost in Portland
Driving the coast on the 101
Homecoming at Tech
To be continued…
Not My Will…
Purpose and Sacrifice.
I have alway thought of these as two autonomous concepts divided among man and God. Purpose, by its very nature always seemed to fall within the realm of being God ordained. Something that could only be determined through God’s sovereignty. Sacrifice on the other hand, was a principle that need to be mastered by man. An act of faith that would ultimately bring us closer to God. But through out the week as I mulled over them both God began to show me that they were actually inextricable. It was simple, God’s purpose for our lives will always require our sacrifice. Sacrifice of our desires, agendas, and time.
Over the entirety of my life, especially in the last two year, God has opened door after door for me to fulfill all of the desires of my heart! And while I have passionately been running toward my own desires I can’t help put thing about the ultimate purpose that God has for my life! I have been called to be a servant of the most high! Ordained to to bring the gospel to the lost, care for the sick, and to assist the poor. But what good is a servant that doesn’t respond to its most basic of duties…the call to service?
Somewhere in the midst of completing graduate school and landing the dream job my purpose got placed on the back-burner. My will became greater than God’s will. Matthew 5:13 says:
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.”
If a seasoning has no flavor it has no value. In the same manner as christians we are called to be the salt of the earth, but If we make no effort to affect the world around us then we have little value to God.
Working on our personal relationship with Christ is great, but we must not forget that our charge from God is to go out into world and spread the good news. I think God is asking for a sacrifice of Jeff’s will, in order for His will to be done.
